Looking Forward, Looking Back

The title of this post comes from a country and western song, by Australian music icon, the late Slim Dusty.

As one gets older we tend to reflect on the events that have impacted our lives, and look forward to the future, and probably having a bucket list; things and goals we want to achieve before we pass away.

My life has been impacted by an immune deficiency, called common variable immunodeficiency. This is a rare deficiency and mine is made more rare by having granulomas. So I guess the correct name for my deficiency would be: granulomatous variant of common variable immune deficiency.

The jury is out as to how this deficiency appears in different people. Is it genetic? Is there external factors that causes one to have this immune deficiency? I have not seen any clear evidence one way or the other.

My mother, Mona Dorothy Just, had two sons. My half brother, Francis (Frank) was older than me and he has now passed away, with lung and brain cancer. He and I had the same mother.

I was born quite a few years later, and I had a different father than Frank. My mother gave me away to a work mate when I was a few weeks old. However, she named me, and registered my birth, although the name of my father was not listed.

My foster "mother" took me and probably felt she was doing a favour to my mother and to myself. My foster mother told me when I was a teenager that I was a sickly child and I was not expect to survive at most more than a few childhood years. I recall regularly visiting a GP and being diagnosed with asthma, upper respiratory infections, pleurisy, pneumonia and other infections. I believe that this was not a correct diagnoses but was caused by my immune deficiency.

During teenage years, and on into adulthood I suffered from continual infections, as well as classic migraine. I was not a healthy person, but was determined as I got older, that I was going to make the most of my life. This determination was also underpinned by the fact that my time in the foster home were not happy years for me, and I was pleased for the chance when I was 16 years of age, to leave home and live in various boarding homes, until I met and married my first wife Therese Mary Roberts (Tess). I married when I was almost 19 years of age. Our marriage ended on 15 March 1982, when Tess passed away with metastatic melanoma. We had five children.

During the 30 months that Tess was treated for this cancer, she had lateral forefoot amputation, and eighteen months later removal of lymph glands from mid thigh to the pubic region. These were times when our faith in Christ was certainly tested. Both Tess and myself had been drawn by the grace of God to respond to his call on our lives and give our lives to Christ. This had a major impact on our lives but I will not pursue this matter at the moment.

In June 1984 I married Beryl Smith and we have lived in happiness until this moment. But my health deteriorated and in 2006 onward I have been treated for this immune deficiency with monthly infusions of human immunoglobulin and injections of penicillin. I have had a number of operations for damage done to the body by this deficiency. We abbreviate the name of this deficiency by using the initials CVID.

Now at almost 73 years of age, my specialists and GP can do not make me better, but they are trying to make me comfortable. I have constant pneumonia, bronchiectasis, pain, oral lichen planus and other problems. I have also had two bouts of lobular hepatitis, which is linked to infection as a result of CVID, as well as removal of gall bladder.

I look back over my life and I am grateful that I have seen my wonderful children grow into fine adults and have secure employment., and living productive lives. My grandchildren could be included in this. Now we have great grandchildren, and we hope they will grow up and live their lives as wonderful people like their parents. I have achieved most of my life goals. I have spent some time studying through a theological seminary and have obtained my degrees. I have been privileged to be involved in community groups and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a JP in New South Wales, New Zealand and Queensland. I was a marriage celebrant in both New Zealand and Australia, but have resigned from this due to ill health.

Beryl and I have been able to do a rail trip on The Ghan; Darwin to Alice Springs on The Ghan train. A wonderful experience, and we often recount this experience and the spectacular landscape and views we saw, as well as visiting Uluru (Ayers Rock). As far as I am concerned, I am content as I have achieved most of things in life that I wanted to achieve.

Apart from my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren I have two sisters, Gail and Margaret. We have the same mother and father. We enjoy each other's company and appreciate each other's family, which is quite extended! It was not until around 1978 that we met face to face and we have gone through good and bad times with our family and friends.

My future bucket list is small. Beryl and I would love to spend some time in the Kimberleys, and do some more touring in Australia. Anything else for me will be a bonus. We are returning to New Zealand for a couple of weeks to visit family and friends in the central North Island. Whether this is the last time we will travel to New Zealand, only time will tell. Health and finances may mean family and friends should come to Australia and visit us.

I bring this to a close. This is be no means exhaustive, but just touches on the very basics of my experience with an incurable immune deficiency. As a preacher I have often encouraged people to place their trust in Christ to get through their daily experiences. I have often quoted the words in the Book of Hebrews where it is recorded that Jesus has said "I will never leave you, or forsake you."

In my life I have experienced the truth of these words and I am prepared to daily trust and lean on Him for comfort and strength.